Yes
by cpdfan4
Summary: He can only see the back of her head, her brown curls tucked under her signature beanie, but he'd know Erin Lindsay anywhere. Because he's pretty sure he's in love with her. Because even though they haven't had a single line of communication in the past six months, she's the first thing on his mind when he wakes up every morning & the last thing on his mind before he goes to sleep.


"I can't do this." Erin Lindsay looked up at Kim Burgess with tear-filled eyes as she toyed with the shot glass in front of her. "I'm not strong enough, Kim. I can't sit here and watch this,"

"Erin," Kim sighed and reached across the table to squeeze her friend's hand. "It's been six months. And you're the one who broke up with him." The officer had tried to comfort Erin in every way possible in the six months since she'd broken up with Jay Halstead; she was currently going with the tough-love method because nothing else had worked up to this point, but she doubted this would either.

Erin shot her a death glare at the reminder. "Why did I come here?" she asked rhetorically, her voice cracking at the end of her question. It was her first time being at Molly's since she'd joined the task force nine months ago and to say she regretted her decision to finally visit the bar again was an understatement. The small pub that had once been her safe haven was currently anything but as she stared at her ex-boyfriend flirting with some blonde bimbo.

When Erin had first joined the task force and gotten together with Jay, it seemed like everything in her life had fallen into place. She'd become a well-known and well-respected agent, no longer living under the title of "Voight's girl". She felt like she was making a difference on not only the streets of Chicago, but also around the entire country. She and Jay had easily gotten Voight's approval since she was no longer in the unit and despite how Hank acted, he really liked Halstead and knew he was not only good police, but a good man. Then suddenly, the feds began to take over Erin's life. There were cancelled dates and surprise business trips and days without communication. The strain on the relationship was evident and Erin knew she was stringing Jay along, so after three months she ended it. Jay had tried to fight her on it, telling her it would get easier once she settled into the job and that they were worth the fight, but Erin was convinced she didn't deserve Jay. Jay was wonderful; he deserved someone who could go on weekly dates and was home for his birthday and had the time for a nightly phone call. But God, she missed him. They'd tried to stay friends, but after a few awkward text message exchanges all communication had stopped, and now here Erin was, seeing him in person for the first time in six months. Hank had asked her to stop by the district a few times for lunch, but she could never bring herself to walk up the stairs to the bullpen; instead she begged her pseudo-father to meet her at his favorite diner every time. Jay had gotten even better looking since the night she left his apartment in tears, his eyes seemed bluer and more freckles dusted his nose. She could tell he'd been working out more, probably spending time at the boxing gym he helped Antonio fix up.

"Because I love you, but I physically could not spend one more night in your apartment crying over a Nicholas Sparks movie with a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Besides, I think we ran out of flavors to try." Kim answered the question, despite knowing Erin was talking to herself. When Burgess had first met the older detective, she had been severely intimidated by her. Erin was a badass, to put it lightly, and took no shit from anyone. She always had a sassy comment to make and always knew how to make everyone around her laugh in light of any situation. Despite spending three years as the only female on a team full of guys, Erin had definitely proven herself as one of the best detectives in Chicago and no one had deserved a promotion to a federal task force more than her. Ever since she'd broken up with Jay, she had become a different person. She'd lost the sparkle in her eye and buried herself in work 24/7, never wanting to leave her apartment on the rare days she had off. Burgess was worried about her friend and knew she should be working on helping her get over Jay, not taking her to the bar he was sitting at, but like every other mutual friend of the two, she didn't believe they were really over. They were too good together; they just had to see that for themselves.

"Whatever." Erin rolled her eyes, finally picking up the shot glass on the table in front of her and pouring the tequila down her throat. "Does he even know I'm here?" she stole another glance of her old partner across the bar.

"Why don't you go say hi?" Kim suggested. Since Erin had left Intelligence, Kim had been called up to take her spot and she'd been working with Jay a lot. She didn't know him anywhere as well as Erin did, but she knew him well enough to know he had absolutely zero interest in the blonde he was chatting it up with. And enough to know that the only female he had interest in was about 5'3" with brown hair, hazel eyes, and was currently sitting across from her.

"Right." Erin scoffed as she reached across the table and stole Kim's tequila shot. "He hates me."

"No he doesn't, Erin. Just go talk to him," Kim practically begged. At that moment, Jay cracked up laughing at something Otis had said behind the bar and Kim watched Erin's eyes glaze over with a fresh batch of tears the second she heard the sound.

"Kim, you don't have to join me, but a bottle of wine and a pint of Ben and Jerry's are calling my name." Erin stood abruptly in an effort to get out of Molly's before the tears began to fall. Jay's laugh had always been her favorite thing about him and hearing that sound for the first time in six months made her heart physically hurt. She made a beeline for the door and made it out into the cold Chicago night just as the first tear fell.

Jay's head whipped around when he was hit with a familiar scent, a mixture of honey, coconut, and gunpowder. A scent that made his heart skip a beat even though he hadn't smelt in six months. The scent of Erin Lindsay. He looked around the bar frantically but she was nowhere to be seen. He located Burgess, who pointed to the door. Not even saying goodbye to the girl he'd been talking to, he sprinted out into the bitter air.

That's when he saw her. Sitting on the curb outside Molly's, her face buried in her hands, her shoulders heaving with sobs. He can only see the back of her head, her brown curls tucked under her signature beanie, but he'd know Erin Lindsay anywhere. Because he's pretty sure he's in love with her. Because even though they haven't had a single line of communication in the past six months, she's the first thing on his mind when he wakes up every morning and the last thing on his mind before he goes to sleep. She's all he can think about during a hard case, during a long night of paperwork, during a date with any other boring girl whom he's not interested in.

Jay clears his throat to make his presence known then is quickly on the curb next to her. "Er," he says softly, tugging on her wrist to make her move her hands away from her face so she'll look at him.

Erin's heart breaks into a million more pieces when he uses that nickname. It was so simple, but he was the only one who ever called her that, and hearing the short expression roll off his lips feels like home. "I'm so sorry," she's still avoiding eye contact, but she can't fight the magnetic pull the two of them have as she leans over and buries her head in his chest, her tears immediately soaking through his shirt.

Immediately Jay wraps his arms around her small body, burying his face in her beanie. "What are you sorry for?" he mumbled into the top of her head, feeling his own eyes begin to water. He could handle many things, but a crying Erin Lindsay was not one of them.

"For everything. I'm awful. I was such a bad girlfriend, Jay, I had to leave for Bolivia on your birthday. Then I got back two weeks later than I was supposed to and I didn't even have time to go out to dinner with you because I got wrapped up in a case. And even on my days off all I did was work and I even blew off all of our Blackhawks nights that we started before we were even dating. So then I ended things but I told you we could be friends and I couldn't even keep that promise. I'm sorry that I'm the worst and now you're out here comforting me instead of being inside with that pretty blonde girl who is probably so much better for you. She probably has a 9-5 job and can go to Cubs games and Sunday brunch with you and you can finally have a normal relationship like you deserve," At this point Erin is sobbing so hard she's sure Jay can't even comprehend what she's saying, but she needs to get it out.

"Woah, Er, easy," Jay tightened his grip around her and placed a kiss onto her head, ignoring the stares of the people walking by. "First of all, you are not awful and I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again. Do you know how proud of you I am? You're 28 years old and you're leading your own federal task force. I knew what I was getting myself into the second I told you we no longer worked together and I don't regret a second of the three months we spent together. My only regret is letting you end it then not talking to you for six months. I don't want a normal relationship, Erin. I don't want anything if it isn't with you."

Erin lifted her head from Jay's chest and met his crystal blue eyes for the first time in half a year. She felt like her heart was going to pound out of her chest and she wasn't sure if it was because of how hard she was crying, the words she'd just heard come out of his mouth, or just because of how perfect his face was. How perfect he was. "What?" she tried to ask, in disbelief, but barely any sound came out.

"I want to give us another shot, Er. You know this wasn't how it was supposed to end for us." Jay moved his hands to her cheeks, wiping away the tears and globs of mascara. "Even Voight asked me when we were gonna get out shit together."

"You're really thinking about Voight right now?" Erin jokes and she can't help but smile, her first real smile in as long as she can remember.

"There's my girl," Jay's own lips break into a grin at the sight of her dimples. "So what do you say? Another chance?"

"Yes," Erin finally broke their eye contact as she leaned in and captured his lips in a kiss to make up for the six months they'd lost. "Yes, yes, yes," she mumbled into his mouth as she pulled herself onto his lap in the middle of the Cortland Street sidewalk, not caring about the judgmental stares of the people walking by or about the fact that the entire Intelligence Unit was watching them through the window of Molly's, trying to figure out who'd won the bet about how long it would take them to get back together. All she cared about was the fact that she'd finally gotten her boyfriend and best friend back and she certainly wasn't going to mess it up this time.


End file.
